A Day in Mama’s Life by Denny Lynn

(if throw up, poop and boogers make you queasy, stop reading now) I want to share a little bit about Mama’s day – Mama decided we should share because we know many of you will find it funny and the fellow moms will commiserate. Today, Mama’s day started at 12:30 am feeding John. He had just dozed off when I crawled in bed between her and Daddy because I didn’t feel well. For the next few hours she was awake on and off moving me back parallel to her and Daddy (I like sleeping crossways, but for some reason she didn’t like me kicking my brother or her). About 3:00 she fed John again. Just has he dozed off this time, I got really sick and threw up all over me and the pillow (extra load of laundry #1 & #2). Daddy put stuff in the washroom and Mama took me into the bathroom to clean me off – on the plus side, I got to put on my Elmo shirt. I was then ready to play. Since Daddy had to go to work, Mama took me and John into the living room. I think she really just wanted to watch one of my Thomas the Tank Engine movies – which she did three times before I fell asleep on the loveseat. She then fed John again and dozed off, before waking up at 5:00 am to feed John again. She rounded out with about 4 hours sleep – that isn’t so bad, just because it wasn’t all in one lump really shouldn’t mean anything. I got up at 7:00 am – just in time for Daddy to fix me breakfast – at which time Mama selfishly denied me milk and sausage and insisted I have toast and 7Up. The next time I threw up Mama got me to the trashcan – no extra laundry. She then let me have one of my favorite cinnamon mints. She didn’t realize I had a box I could open and honestly, I lost count of how many I ate. This time when I threw up it was a nice shade of red (I mean really red). Mama was feeding John at the time, so didn’t get to me quick enough, luckily most of it landed on the pillow (extra load of laundry #3) and she cleaned the spots on the carpet to a pretty shade of pink. She then decided it was time for a shower. Of course, if she is showering I have to shower with her. I was good and clean when the hot water started to run out, but Mama finished her shower with the cold water. Then we gave John a bath. Mama took his clothes off and then warmed enough water for him. Before she could get him in, he pooped. A nice watery poop down Mama’s pajamas, the bathroom cabinet and the monkey rug (extra load of laundry #4), barely missing me, but I am pretty sure he didn’t do it on purpose – although he could just be jealous that I was getting so much attention. I wanted to help with John’s bath so I climbed up on my stool, but the counter was wet where Mama had wiped up the poop, so I slipped and bumped my nose. So now John is screaming in the tub and I am screaming on the floor – Mama ended up holding me and bathing John at the same time. Finally she had me and John dressed to meet Daddy for lunch before taking Nolie to the vet to get her stitches out (this is because for some strange reason, Mama had thought it would be a good idea to get Nolie surgery while she was home on maternity leave- go figure). Mama let me have some Pringles to tide me over. While I was in my chair at the dining room table, Mama noticed the rather large booger protruding from my nose. She got most of it with a tissue (me fighting her the entire time) and I finished it off. The lesson here: there is no reason to pick your nose when you can actually stretch your tongue far enough to reach inside and clean it out. We went for Chinese (it took 40 minutes to get our food – so I needed some entertaining). Daddy taught me to play the drums with the chopsticks. Then it was time to take Nolie to the vet. Leaving the restaurant, Mama strapped John in, got in and backed out, then the door slammed because she had forgotten to close it – I guess she was tired or something. All things considered, Mama had a great day! After all – she got to spend it with me, but I have a feeling if I make it tonight without throwing up I am going to Darcy’s tomorrow and Mama will be taking a nap – after she washes the rest of the laundry! The good news – her hormones must be balancing out, but cause she didn’t even cry today – although, the days not over yet! Nothing like a day in the life of a Mama – especially my Mama!